TLOTA: The Average Guy in “Elect Me!”

(Music in the same vein of Donald Duck’s opening theme plays in the background James singing throughout the intro “Who has the Average disposition one guess that guy. Who never puts in his two cents? Who knows that his world makes sense? Who always lives a normal life? Who always seems to never know what’s right? Who tells it true in front of a lie? No one! But The Average Guy!” as “James Faraci The Last Of The Americans Presents:” is seen then cuts to a picture of James Faraci with a simple smile on James’ face and the words “The Average Guy” is below and cuts to the title card of “Elect Me!”)

(Scene starts with The Average Guy played by James Faraci heading to a couch with a bowl of Quaker oatmeal squares to watch some television. James sighs then turns on the television)

Television (Audio only): The Democrats have single handedly decimated everything good that has happened with our country.(Cut to see the TV screen with the Republican logo on it.) However if we put Republicans in control of the Senate and the House Of Representatives we can rebuild our country. Paid for by the people who wish to see Barack Obama be sent back to the Congo. (Cut to The Average Guy)

A.G.: Sounds good, might vote Republican this ye..

Television (Audio only): IT’S A LIE! REPUBLICANS ARE NAZIS!

A.G.: What? (Cut to TV Screen)

Television: DEMOCRATS HAVE BROUGHT NOTHING BUT PEACE, PROSPERITY AND BETTER HEALTHCARE TO OUR COUNTRY! THEY HAVE ALSO IMPLIMENTED STRONGER MEASURES TO STOP THOSE WHO DOMESTICALLY ABUSE & RAPE PEOPLE BY EXECUTING THOSE RATFACED BASTARDS WHO WOULD DO SUCH CRIMES! Would you let a rapist near your kids? Paid for by the People who wish to see Republicans be EX-TERM-IN-ATED!(Cut to The Average Guy)

A.G.: Hmm, Dalek democrats who want to get rid of criminals not ba..

Television (Audio only): REPUBLICANS HAVE HARSHER MEASURES TOWARDS CRIMINALS!

A.G.: Not another one (Cut to TV Screen)

Television: THE REPUBLICANS WILL GUT CRIMINALS WHO BREAK ALL LAWS WITH A RUSTY SPOON. WE WILL ALSO REMOVE THE COMMUNIST THREAT OF THE DEMOCRATS WHO WERE FOUNDED BY THE KU KLUX KLAN! So tell me would you side with communists who side the Ku Klux Klan? Paid for by the Republicans who wish to suppress the Democrats.(Cut to the Average Guy)

A.G.: Hmm, Democrats who are communists that side with the Ku Klux Klan or Republicans who may or may not be Nazis. Maybe I should vote for a third party Independent candidate.

Television (Audio only): Third party Independent candidates have no say whatsoever!

A.G.: For the fricking love of Peat Moss, not again! (Cut to TV Screen)

Television: Third party Independent candidates have yet to make a mark. Yes Jesse “The Body” Ventura was the Governor of Minnesota but no President, Senator or Representative has made a difference at all so what will you do? Waste a vote? Paid for by the Republicans and Democrats to make sure you vote for at least one of our sides.(Cut to The Average Guy)

A.G.: Let me watch something, ANYTHING besides an advertisement about the election! (the Average Guy changes the channel which cuts to a “Daily Show With Jon Stewart” like show with it’s host looking like Paulo Fonseca and trying to hide subliminal messages in his stories.)

Host: We’re back! Republicans are Nazi scum. In the latest reports according to our sources CNN is the only channel for real news outside of us and watch all who praise Premier Obama, Fox News watchers are Nazis. the Ebola virus have come to our country It’ll kill all Republicans for the glory of Putin and… (Cut to The Average Guy slowly getting angry changing the channel)

Television (Audio only): Republicans are what this country needs.

A.G.: Not this propaganda again! (Cut to the TV Screen.)

Television: Republicans are not Nazis we welcome all creeds, colors and sexual preferences. We can destroy the problems that ill this country. Paid for by the Republican party. (Cut to The Average Guy slowly counting down on one hand)

Television (Audio only): VOTE FOR THE DEMOCRATS!

A.G.: Right on cue. (Cut to the TV Screen.)

Television: Republicans will repress all the social changes to every creed, color and sexual preferences and use innocent people they claim are terrorists as target practice when in fact they support Terrorism. NO! Democrats support Terrorism. (Cut to The Average Guy getting angrier and angrier as the Audio continues to be propaganda slamming both the Republicans and Democrats until The Average Guy gets so mad he throws the remote down, stands up and walks away as the chatter continues and The Average Guy comes back with a Rocket Launcher and fires it at the television)

Television: HOLY! (Television is demolished in one second then cuts to The Average Guy sighing then looking at the audience.

A.G.: Folks, I’m an average guy. I won’t tell you to vote for one party or another. If you like the Republican Party vote for them. If you vote for a Democrat, I won’t hold it against you. I’m The Average Guy and that’s just who I am. (Voice of Chris Lee Moore in the background says “Paid for the people who just hope you vote” then The Average Guy grabs a gun and shoots off screen to the right as a yelp in pain is heard then a thud and The Average Guy walks off screen to the left with a smile on his face.)

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