Originally posted in June 2013
(Black background as in demonic text says 1986 as it moves to Los Angeles in a house where the Devil, as portrayed by Malcolm Ray, readies himself to possess Shia LaBeouf’s Father)
Mr. LaBeouf: Oh what a night, I just want to rest right now, that okay honey.
Mrs. LaBeouf: Sure thing
Satan: That’s my cue! (Scene goes black as sexual moans & groans occur than we hear a baby cry then black background with demonic text reading 2002 as we find James Faraci sitting back in his room and he’s exhausted as he just finished another school day and it shows)
TLOTA(Sighs a deep cleansing breath): What a day, I just finished another day in High School, I’m about to become an uncle for the first time with twins, I need to unwind, Hmm, “Even Stevens”. (Scene plays with Christy Romano, Tom Virtue and Donna Pescow trying to have a quiet and honest discussion when a Monkey’s screeching ruins it with them shouting “LOUIS!” ) Good god that guy playing Louis is annoying as all fuck who is he? (James goes down to main computer and discovers his name and mispronounces it) Hmm, Here’s hoping he’ll never have a career after this shit!
(Black Background with the demonic text of One Year Later as we see James taking care of his twin nieces as he discovers Shia LaBeouf is going to be in several movies that year)
TLOTA: Hey there maddy, mallie you see him, he’s stinky and guess what this year will be the only year he’ll be in because soon he’ll be working at a McDonald’s yes he will, yes he will and your Uncle Jimmy is gonna be a real big star. Yes he will and you guys are going to have an Aunt Christy.
(Black background with Demonic text with the year 2006 and James is still at home and discovers that Shia LaBeouf is going to be in both Transformers & Indiana Jones & The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull)
TLOTA: What’s Hollywood’s desire to take Shia LaBeouf who is for all intent and purpose a piece of shit and make him the next big thing? He isn’t! This is bullshit! (Sighs) Well at least Christy Romano still likes me.