NewsCrap: I Don’t Like Fake Butts, Anti-Vaxxers or Eight Legged Freaks

What’s worse, people continuing to believe anti-medical propaganda, or suggesting improper relations at the WORST possible time?

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The Wrestling Mark: Survivor Series 2014

Did Cena’s team or The Authority survive the night?

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Ace Gamer: Kirby 64

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Video Masters: Limbo

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TV Trash: Angels in the Endzone


This Disney Channel movie deserves to get sacked for a loss.

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TLOTA: The “Duck” hits the fan!

TLOTA (Shouting): I’M JAMES FARACI THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS AND THE VIEWS I’M ABOUT TO EXPRESS ARE THAT OF MY OWN AND SOME OF YOURS! (Hand signals to everyone to wait one moment.) HEY DOC! TURN DOWN THE NOISE! (The Mad Scientist walks over to his MP3 Player to turn down the volume on it.) Sorry, but I was behind the scenes of “GLEE” recently and overheard that the people in charge of the show were working on either another series for Lea Michele or a spinoff for her character Rachel Berry. So to help them I got the best guy in the Entertainment industry a hundred dollars could get to either get a spinoff or a new series for Lea Michele. Say hello to Doctor Plotsz! Doctor! Introduce yourself to my audience.

Dr. Plotsz: Guten tag!

TLOTA: So doc, what have you got for me so far?

Dr. Plotsz: Well Herr Faraci, I’ve got some doozies of plots! Einen Plot I have is for a spinoff in vhich ze Character Rachel to find her way to Hollywood and vork for einen private envestigator who is a Nosferatu!

TLOTA: You just described “Angel” and at least half of the Private Investigator who happens to be a vampire series you schisse head.

Dr. Plotsz: Okay, Vell, Another plot I have is wunderbar, Rachel tries to make einen comeback on Broadway but in ze meanwhile she vorks at a restaurant in vhich she befriends einen fraulein who wants to start einen bakery!

TLOTA: That’s “2 Broke Girls” you cuckoo kraut!

Dr. Plotsz: All right then, enough here’s einen original one. Lea plays multiple roles un vhich she is twins and after her sister is executed… sorry I mean she passes avay, Ze Fraulein takes over taking care of ze family while ze Vater is einen uber-failure at his job as einen Private envestigator und it is up to those surrounded by ze Private envestigator who is not einen Nosferatu! (James looks at Dr. Plotsz as if he had done a do it yourself lobotomy)

TLOTA: YOU DUMKOPF, THAT’S DUCKMAN! (Cut to “Duckman” opening credit and clips from the series while James does a voiceover with the theme song playing in the background.)

Why did that infuriate James? Find out here!

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Ace Gamer quickies – U N Squadron

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Video Masters: Too Many Games Part II

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TV Trash: Goldie Gold and Action Jack


Paris Hilton saves the world? Only in the 80s could something like this come up…

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TLOTA: In Defense of “The Eighth Doctor”

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it then the camera zooms to the backside of the slab with the word editorial on it then cutting to James’ office with an empty chair)

ORAC (Audio only): You do realize that this is a breach in usual protocol

TLOTA(Audio only): Unfortunately that new guy on here left me little time to finish my review on time so I had to jump the gun on the editorial ORAC besides this is perfect timing with the Season Finale around the corner. (James gets to his chair and sits down.)

TLOTA: I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own & some of yours and welcome to another edition of “In Defense Of…” (Show pics of maligned pieces of pop culture while the fanfare from the Olympics play and James comes up after Vanilla Ice slides back and his right hand thumbs up and the words “In Defense Of…” then cuts back to James physically)

TLOTA: Wow, I can hardly believe it is November but here we are and when I think of November, I think of Football, Thanksgiving, Elections, Deer Hunting and fifty one years of one person in a Blue English Police Phone booth that’s bigger on the inside fighting off aliens who wish to destroy us, one of his own that wishes to enslave and repress us and of course tanks the size of a trashcan that house mutated aliens who have one thing on their minds EX-TERM-IN-A-TION. I am of course talking about THE DOCTOR! (Cut to current theme of “Doctor Who” used in the intro and end credits and clips from across the entire franchise while James does a voice over.)

TLOTA (Voice over): Doctor Who has become a definition of Science Fiction as a whole. It may have started out as an educational show that used sci-fi as a tool to further it’s educational goals but since the show’s inception The Doctor has become possibly one of the most well known characters in all of media. But it did have it’s ups and downs. If you haven’t checked out SF Debris’ video on the cancellation of Doctor Who then I suggest you check that out before going any further in reading my editorial on this subject. Otherwise let me say the following to Michael Grade & Jonathan Powell there is a special level of HELL that awaits you where you will be forced into watching every little frame from every episode of Doctor Who even the episodes that are lost in time and space forever and every audio off of anything that you have that plays audio will be the Audio dramas of Doctor Who and every book you will read will be all about Doctor Who! (Cut to James physically.)

TLOTA: Sorry, Didn’t mean to go off on a tangent but the point is I am a Whovian and I have checked out the Classic Doctor Who through Netflix and my favorite Doctors from the classic era are as follows Tom Baker, Sylvester McCoy, Jon Pertwee, Peter Davison, Colin Baker with Patrick Troughton & William Hartnell getting honorable nods. From The current era not including the new Doctor Peter Capaldi who is EXCELLENT as the Doctor right now are as follows which includes a tie between David Tennant & Matt Smith and Christopher Eccleston being close to Tennant & Smith and the “War Doctor” John Hurt getting an honorable nod. But there is one Doctor that gets little respect and that is the Eighth Doctor. So this time I defend The Eighth Doctor Paul McGann. (Cut to clips from the 1996 Doctor Who TV Movie while James does a voice over.)

TLOTA (Voice Over):I should state that the following: I became a Whovian not too long ago, I’d have to say last year which was probably a good year to become a Whovian because it was the Fiftieth anniversary and I LOVED “The Day Of The Doctor” by the way and I decided to look over all of the Doctor’s work for this editorial and Colin Baker’s era nearly made the cut but after much consideration and checking out SF Debris’ video on why Doctor Who got the axe, I gave Colin Baker’s era a pass because it was really good. Also I had a lot of factors to consider when I did come up with one of the Doctors to defend and Paul McGann came up as one Doctor that didn’t get the response he expected because Fox did a poor job at promoting the only time Paul McGann’s Doctor would be seen. I saw it on a Youtube bootleg and to be honest, he was…(Cut to James physically.)

TLOTA: What’s the word I’m looking for? (Cut to the clip of “The Parting Of The Ways” during Christopher Eccleston’s regeneration in which he says “You were Fantastic” then cutting back to James)

TLOTA: Exactly the words I was looking fo… (Cut to the clip of “The Parting Of The Ways” during Christopher Eccleston’s regeneration in which he says “Absolutely Fantastic” then cutting back to James)

TLOTA: I Get it now beat it (Cut to the clip of “The Parting Of The Ways” during Christopher Eccleston’s regeneration in which he says “And do you know what?” then cutting back to James.)

TLOTA: Yes you were amazing but this is about another (Cut to the clip of “The Parting Of The Ways” during Christopher Eccleston’s regeneration in which he says “So was I” then cutting back to James)

TLOTA: ALRIGHT ALREADY, CHRIS I GET IT YOU’RE ONE OF THE THINGS THAT HELPED DOCTOR WHO GET A NEW LIFE, BUT THIS IS ABOUT YOUR PREDECESSOR PAUL MCGANN! GOT THAT!(Cut to clips from the 1996 Doctor Who TV Movie while James does a voice over.)

TLOTA (Voice Over): So as I was saying Paul McGann was fantastic as the Doctor and quite a snappy dresser too, however when the new series began a lot of people wondered if Paul’s Doctor was considered in canon with those who preceded him and to those succeeded him well, First off the movie had Sylvester McCoy returning AS The Doctor before landing in San Francisco and getting shot and Grace Holloway’s inability to understand both Time Lord & Gallifreyan physiology is the cause of the Regeneration to Paul McGann’s Doctor and Paul McGann eventually did Regenerate in the short leading up to “The Day Of The Doctor” entitled “The Night Of The Doctor” into the “War Doctor” who by the end of “The Day Of The Doctor” regenerated into Christopher Eccleston’s Doctor, so that ends the continuity debate right there. However one line of Dialogue from the TV Movie has been so divisive amongst fans that to this moment fans still argue whether or not he was serious about what I’m about to show you.

The Eighth Doctor: I’m half human. (pause as the Professor gives The Doctor an odd look.) On my mother’s side.

TLOTA (Voice Over): Listen to the infliction, the tone, the delivery in Paul McGann’s voice. Is he taking that line serious? Does Paul McGann truly and wholly believes that the time lord known as the Doctor from the Planet Gallifrey in the constellation Kasterborous is actually half human? NO! He said it as A JOKE! A Joke every Whovian took as serious dialogue and which turned into a debate that rages on the internet to this second! Good grief, I took that line for what it was and it was a joke that I laughed at, I like to see humor infused into The Doctor’s dialogue and adventures as well. In fact one of my favorite episodes from Peter Capaldi’s era so far is “Robot of Sherwood”. The humorous banter of The Doctor was amazing (Show clip of The Twelfth Doctor analyzing The Blood of Allan-A-Dale and The Doctor saying to Allan-A-Dale that he has numerous diseases saying that if he were real, he’d be dead in six months and Allan-A-Dale claiming he is real and the Doctor saying goodbye. before cutting back to James physically.)

TLOTA: And I don’t care if Whovians didn’t like that episode, I enjoyed it and I’m allowed to enjoy some humor with my Doctor! But after everything has been said does Paul McGann deserve to be forgotten in the annals of time when it comes to the Legacy of The Doctor? NO! (Cut to clips of the 1996 Doctor Who movie while James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voice over): Because he was the brief light that was 16 years sans The Doctor on the television and while admittedly I was hesitant to watch Doctor Who because I couldn’t make heads or tails of the series at all. But since I saw some episodes and serials and admittedly some of my fellow internet reviewers thoughts on Doctor Who, I understand and I admire everything good The Doctor stands for and Paul’s Doctor also was the turning point Doctor because before the new series, The Doctor was seen as an outcast Time Lord who had adventures on Earth and in Galaxies because he could, after Paul’s Doctor came “The Last Great Time War” which ended The Daleks and Time Lords and with that came A Doctor who felt guilty for doing something really horrendous during that “Time War” which caused a lot of changes and while yes the Horrendous act he did was retconned out in “The Day Of The Doctor” STILL I give praise for Paul McGann and his Doctor for being that bridging Doctor. Though I do wish we saw more of his Doctor on-screen in the new series but I’m glad for the fact that we got to see him Regenerate and the fact that Paul was willing to do that Regeneration showed that he respected his brief time as The Doctor so Paul I respect you for you were The Doctor. (Cut to James physically as a Wheezing screech is heard outside.)

TLOTA: One moment. (James walks outside to see The TARDIS outside his office space.) Hello?

(Cut to the door of The TARDIS as it opens up and we see Peter Capaldi as The Doctor saying “Shush” and closing the door.)

TLOTA: Something tells me, I might be having an adventure with The Doctor soon, I’m gonna grab Paulo & Rebecca and have ORAC activate the security system.

The 12th Doctor(Audio only): You would like that wouldn’t ya?

TLOTA: May we come aboard The TARDIS?

The 12th Doctor (Audio only): Fine, Fine.

TLOTA: Give me five minutes and we’ll roll. I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and That’s my opinion. (James Zooms off and we hear James call for Paulo & Rebecca.)

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